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Choosing Self-Improvement Over Comfort

KYRO Season 1 Episode 8

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Can the pursuit of personal growth lead to unexpected solitude? Join me as I explore this poignant question through the lens of my own journey over the past 24 months. Despite the presence of supportive friends and family, I've experienced a profound sense of loneliness tied to my relentless quest for self-improvement. This episode unfolds with a crucial interaction with an ex-partner who was unwilling to engage in the deep, challenging conversations that personal growth demands. It highlights the often misunderstood path of striving for betterment and how it can sometimes mean losing those who are satisfied with the status quo.

As I reflect on the transformation of my social circle, from numerous acquaintances to a smaller, richer group of friends, I share insights on the importance of self-awareness and evolution. Observing those who resist change has reinforced my commitment to avoiding complacency and embracing self-challenge. The value of meaningful connections and experiences has become more apparent, prompting a release of unnecessary pressures and an acceptance that not everyone will accompany me on this journey. Listen to this episode and find encouragement to embrace your own path to becoming a better version of yourself, even if it means walking alone at times.

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Speaker 1:

Hi guys, today's thought is inspired by yet another quote. Now, basically, my Instagram and my life is just filled with lots of quotes that I just see. That just resonates with me, and today, one of the quotes that I saw was one that was really, really, really, really inspiring. Now, for the last 24 months, I've been feeling very lonely. Now, when I say lonely, I don't mean physically, because physically I've got lots of you know good quality friends in my life, people that I can call and they can they'll come out and spend time with me. I've got good family members that again, again, only a phone call away.

Speaker 1:

But the loneliness that I felt has come from a place of. I felt like in the the last 24 months I've been trying so hard to better myself. I came to this place where, after a previous experience in my life, I came to a place where I just expected more from myself. As a result of that I mean, I've always done, but as a result of that, I started putting changes in place. Now, doing that, I've now, you know, throughout the whole 24 months, noticed that there's been a lot of differences and different things that have come and gone in my life and I've always felt like, oh, why is this happening? I didn't fully understand it. You know, I feel more like my friend group has really really narrowed down. Before I had lots of friends. Now, being 30 years old, I can I understand that to be I had lots of acquaintances not necessarily a bad thing, but acquaintances. Now, however, I have a lot more close, tight, neat family. So, again, the changes that have put in place have now sort of like basically shaken off all the if you know for lack of a better word off the dead leaves on the tree, sort of thing. So, again, I was once someone that had lots of friends in my life, but again there were just more people that I, you know, would hang out with, but they're not necessarily, you know, people that I'll call on with an, an issue.

Speaker 1:

This quote that I saw basically just inspired me today, because it said that the higher you're willing to go, uh, the more lonely you are, because a lot of people will just go well, uh, why do we? Why do I have to go higher? Why do I have to try more? I'm like I'm okay, I'm happy here, let's just stay here, and I've always been someone that that's never been enough. I've always wanted more. I've always been someone that that's never been enough. I've always wanted more. I've always been like, oh, what else? You know, how can I get better, how can I learn more? It's always been my personal growth of hey.

Speaker 1:

You know, someone says to me hey, david, you've really hurt me, david, you've really done this, and I go okay, how can I fix that? Quickly, I take on my responsibility. In this situation I say, hey, I'm sorry, that was not my intention. This is how I'll move forward, being a lot better as a friend or son or brother or whatever it might be at that time. Now this quote clearly, just, basically just said the more you're willing to work on yourself, the more you grow, the more you're asking for better of yourself, the lonelier you are, because a lot of people in this day and age aren't willing to be challenged, aren't willing to do more or go further, because they get to a stage and they're happy, they're fine with that. Hey, I've worked hard, I'm good here. This is a good space to be uncomfortable in my comfort zone. I don't want to want to work anyhow. I don't want to need more challenges and I've always never been comfortable that I want more challenges. I again, I don't say this for you to go and do something stupid, but in my life, through just living life and learning, I've done a lot of mistakes and I've learned from it along the way. Therefore, I know and I can look at my life and I can go. This is something I can use as a learning tool. So this loneliness that I felt physically is not necessarily that I am alone, because, again, like I said, I have lots of good quality friends in my life. It's just been because I have always been someone that is always asking more from myself. Okay, so, if you look around yourselves, guys, and you find that you are, you know, physically alone, just remember that you know what sort of work have you put in, you know what are you willing to do. You know they're always the, they say, the most intelligent people are usually the most lonely people because they look past the bullshit. They look past just that little surface of value.

Speaker 1:

And in a recent conversation I had with an ex was, I remember, sitting in the car and basically just wanting to dig deep and understand, and her exact words were I don't want anymore. I don't want to do this anymore. I don't want these deep conversations anymore, david, I don't want to challenge myself anymore. I don't want this. I'm tired, I don't want a serious conversation, I don't want this. Just leave me. I just want you to leave me alone and get out of my life.

Speaker 1:

Now, at the time I heard that and I got hurt. I took it personal, like what do you mean? You don't want to challenge it? What do you mean? You don't want to have serious conversations? It can be exhausting and, believe me, it is exhausting for someone like me, because I'm always, always trying to work on myself Not perfect, but I'm always finding a way to be better.

Speaker 1:

So again, this message is that the more I'm willing to invest in myself and the higher I go, the more the people that aren't willing to work and come along with me, the more they're just going to fall off. And that's just ties into the quote. The more you work on yourself, the more you invest on yourself, the challenges you face, the more you learn. You'll just start to notice people just sort of start to wither away, just sort of fall off. It's not that they're bad people, no. It's just that they're not at that stage. They're not at that level yet. They are not willing to work. You know it's just not their stage in life. You know we all have different stages. You know the challenges we face, the challenges we go through. Again, everyone's going through their own challenges. Everyone has their own shoe. They have to fit.

Speaker 1:

So this doesn't mean that your brother or your mum or your dad, your friends that you've lost throughout the years and things like that, that they're bad people. You might see them on the street and, just you know, wave, smile at them, but that doesn't mean that they're bad people. It's just the difference is you're on a different path. You know I've again, I've felt a lot. I feel like I've lost a lot of friends, a lot of quality, value, valuable friends, um, throughout my whole life. But I've just noticed that is because the more I'm learning, the more I'm becoming more self-aware. I'm very self-aware. I'm learning, I'm reading into things.

Speaker 1:

I'm not willing to have safe face value friendship. I'm not. I just don't want that. If you're going to to be my friend or my best friend, I want to be able to sit in the car with you at 9.30 at night and talk to you about life's issue, but also, have you know, talk shit with you. But also, when the push comes to shove, say to you hey, mate, this is what I'm struggling with. Can you know? What do you think? You don't have to have the answers, even if you're just sitting there listening to me rant, that's fine, but I'm not gonna go. Hey, how was work? Well, how's the family? No, I want more. You know, I've always wanted more.

Speaker 1:

I always challenge my friends. You know, when they say, I say to them hey, how are you in a guy? I'm good as okay. Cool, thank you for giving me that answer. Now, tell me, how are you really, you know, and then go. Yeah, you know what actually? That, that, that, that this is what I'm struggling with. This is what's going on in my life. So, yeah, that quote just resonated and I wanted to share it with you and, I repeat, I want you to really take it in that physically, you may not be alone. You may have lots of a huge family, huge friend group around you, but when you're sitting there, sometimes you just feel alone in yourself. Just remember, it may be as a result of the work that you've put in yourself, the fact that you're willing to go, you're willing to put energy into your growth and, you know, ask more and challenge yourself and the people around you are going. I don't want to. I'm good here. I don't want to move up, I don't want to challenge myself, I just want to stay right here. I'm comfortable here. You know, and that's what I'm.

Speaker 1:

Looking at Everybody that I've left behind. They're stagnant. Nothing has excelled for me, nothing has gone any better. They just for them. They see little things different. They see things differently and they believe that, oh, I've grown up, changed. No, it's this exact same thing. They're still living the same life, still having the same conversation with the same group of people and not learning, not growing.

Speaker 1:

Whereas I'm here, this level, I'm going hey, I fucked up, I've learned, I've messed up, but I've learned, I'm learning from it. I'm trying to grow and and be better and not allow that to happen again. That's the reality of me as a person. Again, not trying to perpetuate, not trying to push this perfect person. God knows I'm not. Everybody that knows me knows I'm not All it is.

Speaker 1:

I've always just been willing to look in the mirror, very fucking hard in that mirror, and see what's looking back at me and say it loud and go okay, that's the field today that I need to work on, or that's the growth I need to do, is something else that I read the other day that said unfortunately, some people are not put into this earth to evolve. Okay, they're not put in it, that's just their chapter of their life. They're not put in here to evolve their sole purpose, or even in your life, even your life. They just say some people in your life, they're not put into your life for you to evolve with them or for them to evolve with you or you know, whatever their role in your life is, to show you what it looks like if you don't evolve, if you don't evolve. That's their role in your life and that's what I'm seeing around me. That's what I'm learning in the people in my life, my life, that they're looking back at them, looking back at everything. I've seen things, you've seen people that I've been like.

Speaker 1:

I don't want that for myself. I don't want that for myself. I don't want to stay stagnant. I don't want a comfortable life. I don't want I comfortable life I don't want. I mean I do to some degree, but what I mean by that is I don't want to just get by on surface level interactions with people. No, I want more. So, looking at people that I've come paths with and I've gone wow, you're still at that place mentally, you're still at that place emotionally. You're still at that place physically. I don't that terrifies me. I want to evolve, I want to learn, I want to grow.

Speaker 1:

But some people you will meet in life, unfortunately, guys that you will meet, they're just there to show you. They're just there as an example for you of what it looks like to not challenge yourself, to not evolve. What it looks like to not challenge yourself To not evolve that's it. That's it. The sooner you realize that, the easier your life will be. The more you don't take things personally, the more you're able to let that pressure go on yourself. No, okay, it's okay. It's hard. Right now I'm weathering the storm Because I'm willing to work, I'm willing to evolve. They are not. They're fine to stay stagnant. They're fine to keep doing the same thing.

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